Have you ever been really hurt or let down by someone so dear to you?
One time a dear friend shared how hard it was to forgive a very close friend who had betrayed her trust and I felt like she was just making a mountain out of a sand pile especially since she was the type who would never hold a grudge however valid it was for her to be utterly pissed with someone. Forgiveness is forgiveness I thought, because it was just a wastage of emotions to hold on to past pain. You don’t have to continuously pay a daily subscription to someone who has violated you by remembering what they have done. My smart mouth always had something to say.
Well, these past two months have taught me never to play holier than thou, everrrrr!!!! Especially since am having the hardest time walking past this pain. I guess we expect more from certain people that when they do even the slightest thing that hurts us, it stings so much that the effect of that sting is felt even with just closing our eyes. Funny that other people do even bigger things and within no time we are breaking bread again. But why is it too hard to let go of these unexpected betrayals??
I really want to get past this but I have failed. I even murmur the words I forgive you daily but anything small triggers the pain. I have even gone ahead to motivate myself, telling myself that i am bigger than this pettiness but within no time am at it again.
Do not get me wrong, this person has done so many good things, so many that i cant trade our relationship for anything. but each passing day draws an awkward silence between us.
I need someone to explain the art of forgiveness because this is beyond me. This just aint me