Funny how everything seems different with just one statement, “everything else is amazingly normal but….. lets just run a few more tests to confirm”. You can never have a deeper appreciation of life until you feel like your days are being stolen from you yet you are too shell-shocked to see beyond what is being dished at you at the moment.
I walked into the doctor’s room as normal as I have always been. See I hadn’t fallen sick in a year but I still wanted to have a routine check just to have the assurance that everything was in order. And yes on the outside everything was okay until two days later when my labs were returned. And the gradual change in the doctor’s tone from a chatty one to a soft reassuring said it all.
“Let us keep monitoring everything for six weeks and we shall run a few more tests to see the progress”, he said while ushering me out. I decided to stroll home. There was no need to rush. And besides, the numerous questions running in my mind blinded me from the fact that its going to be a long walk home. My medical history was perfect, my family history was okay and I was just fine. Nothing about me hurt but then this!!!!
It didn’t quite hit home til the middle of the night when the “what ifs” came into play. What if I don’t pull through and my days are limited, what if these were my only moments, would I have lived my life or just existed? What the next months are going to be the toughest, will I have the best of memories to hold on to or the last mean text I sent my sister would be all I remember, and the day out with my awesome nieces and nephews I pushed for another day would it be all they could carry with them, the promise unfulfilled???
I have a basket full of the fondest memories with my friends and family but I purpose the make more memories than just moments in life. We shall dance to as many songs, hug as hard as we can, laugh til we cry and do all sorts of silly things together. It doesn’t mean that I have given up before “my love journey” starts. And yes i purpose to call it “my love journey” because it has brought me to the new realization that there is more to life than a phone call that never came, or a birthday that was forgotten, or hurtful words that were exchanged. Life is full of very great memories if we choose to make them and appreciate life’s simplicity.
“07-02-2015 my love journey begins”